Cutting-edge solutions for the modern human condition. From screen fatigue to existential dread — we have engineered a product for every malaise.
As featured in
About
We live in an age of unprecedented potential and unprecedented suffering. The two, it turns out, are related.
At Optimization Incorporated, we believe that every problem the modern human faces is, at its core, an engineering problem. Anxiety is a calibration issue. Burnout is a resource allocation failure. Existential dread is simply a gap in the product roadmap.
We have spent considerable time — more than you can imagine — developing solutions. Tools. Interventions. Each one precisely engineered to address a specific dimension of the human condition, and to return you to your most optimized self.
Our catalogue is growing. The problems, after all, are not stopping.
Customer Testimonials
"I came in suffering from severe screen fatigue. I left a different person entirely. Five stars."
"The Social Lubrication changed my life at the conference. I have not stopped talking since. My colleagues are concerned. I have never felt more confident."
"I was skeptical. I am now optimized. I cannot say more than this, as I signed something. Highly recommend."
"I had existential dread for eleven years. It is now a different shape. Progress."
"My phone is gone. I have never felt more free and more terrified simultaneously. What a rush."
"I attended the demonstration as a skeptic and left as a believer. In what, exactly, I cannot say. But I believe it deeply."
Experience It For Yourself
Whether you experienced a live demonstration or only saw the model — we understand the feeling of wanting more. Register here to join our waitlist and be the first to know when each product becomes available. New tools are always in development. Your optimization is not yet complete.
Legal • Disclaimer • Liability Limitation • Fine Print
Optimization Incorporated makes no guarantee, express or implied, that the best version of you is materially better than the current version of you. Results vary.
The Company is not liable for: unintended personality alterations; devices that cease to exist following voluntary compression; phantom limb syndrome; microorganism integration resulting in conversational excess; getting fired; or any other consequences, foreseen or otherwise, of product use.
Products demonstrated as models are not yet available for individual use. The Company accepts no responsibility for outcomes resulting from unsupervised attempts to replicate product effects at home.
*Customer satisfaction figure is drawn from a proprietary internal survey. The 0.3% who were not satisfied are no longer reachable for comment.
By existing in proximity to our products, you agree to our terms. This is binding. Optimization Incorporated is a work of live performance.